Sunday, March 3, 2019

An Overdue Statement/Forward Progress

Sorry for the length of time it took to get this out there. I've honestly been too overwhelmed with work to make any real progress writing things, even a blog post that would be very important to make.

I had a whole think piece planned where I was going to get into phenomena of hero worship and cults of personality, as well as my personal experiences with them in the forms of witnessing the downfalls of both Michael Vick and Joe Paterno, from the ground level within communities that adored them both, and seeing the various effects (both good and bad) that those downfalls had on the communities themselves. I was going to allude to the one friend I have who is currently wrestling with her own experiences of abuse and domestic violence. But I'm not a fantastic writer, and the task had reached a point of diminishing returns where I felt that the more I typed, the more needed to be said. And finally I realized that I was spending time on someone who's not worth spending it on, and about whom enough has already been said.

If you're clueless as to what I'm talking about, I think Patrick Stuart has penned one of the best summaries of the situation, which is almost a month old by now. (http://falsemachine.blogspot.com/2019/02/you-should-read-this.html) He lays out the situation quite well and also links back to a few posts he's made in the past regarding Z, posts which I think are quite objective and a fairly neutral assessment. He also perfectly describes what it's like to interact with Z, how you seem to start arguing with yourself about what's real and what isn't.

I have bought or otherwise supported a number of products that Z has made a substantial input on, including waiting on a copy of a Kickstarted RPG. I am very good friends with that project's manager, Mike, who is a fantastic individual who has given me absolutely no indication that he's anything except a wonderful human being. So I am not withdrawing my support of that project because I think Mike deserves to see his project succeed to the best degree that it is still able. I do not plan on ever running the game again.

As for the books, I don't feel right selling them to anyone else, or even destroying them. First off, I hate destroying books outright, but also there is valuable sentimental content within most of them. My copy of Death Frost Doom has an inscription from Jez Gordon. Maze of the Blue Medusa has an inscription from Patrick. Even A Red and Pleasant Land has Satine's signature in there.

Then there's the two original art pieces I have. I've thought about destroying them, but I figured that it would serve little point. You see, they are two pieces from a project that Z and Patrick were working on together, but it either got put on the back burner or abandoned altogether before their relationship exploded in fire. Judging from the artwork I have and the quality of writing that Patrick has consistently put out, it could have led to something great. But now I see only lost potential, destroyed by a monstrous personality of toxicity. It's kind of a grounding effect that helps remind me that one's character really does matter. And for that reason, they're oddly valuable in a completely ironic sense.

Anyway, keep in mind that this was supposed to be a truncated post compared to my original idea, and it's already getting quite lengthy for what should have been a condensed set of ideas.

In summary, I no longer support Z or his work, nor do I recommend anyone give him any support, either in terms of purchases or even discourse. I believe Mandy and her accounts. Abuse is something I will not abide. Even if, for the sake of argument, Mandy's accounts were not accurate, (and again, I believe her) I have processed enough to make this judgement regardless.

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Moving on to the subject of this blog, I have been dealing with low-grade depression for about half a year. I am finally starting to turn things around with professional help, and so I would like to attempt to move forward with this blog. It will continue to discuss my RPG activity, but it will probably contain even more content that is art-related. I hope both that I follow through with this plan, and also that you will continue to follow the blog.

If the blog fails, please follow my Instagram account, @dommedraws.

I also created a WhereToFindMe page.